So many people have asked me (Abbey) how I am feeling right now. I am so excited to be a mom, of one of the cutest little girls ever. I am also so blessed and thankful that Ava is doing so well and is making strides each and everyday. She gains weight, gets rid of IV's and is able to do a "new trick" each day. She can pick up her head, turn it from side to side and she is now sucking on a pacifier. Everytime I hold her and see her at the NICU I am so thankful to God that she doing great and is bringing glory to HIM each and everyday.
But it does not mean that my heart does not ache everytime I leave her. I was telling a friend of mine tonight, that I am the mom and I am suppose to be taking care of Ava. It is so hard to hold her so close to my chest and then have to give her over to a nurse and walk out and leave. I know that she will be home soon enough but "soon" is not coming fast enough for me. I know that Ava is in the best place she can be but it does not take the ache away from my heart. I try to keep busy by preparing the house, her room and bathroom and working on getting healthy and healed myself.
Soon Ava will be home and in a few years when I watch her at dance or gymnastics or playing in the backyard, I know that I will look back at this time we are apart and she is in the NICU as just a bittersweet memory. But for right now I long to rock and tuck in at night. I long to show her off to my friends and family and I long to just do the everyday "normal" stuff that others may take for granted.
God is giving me the strength I need everyday to go through this journey that I am on right now. This time has helped me trust God to watch over Ava, even when I am not there. One of the verses that I love is in Psalms and it says that "I sleep in peace because the Lord is always there" (that is a paraphrase). I know that even though I am not watching over Ava right now, I know that the greatest PARENT, is watching over my precious Ava.
About Me
- coolercorner
- Adam and I were married on March 25, 2006. We have two precious girls, Ava and Anna. Here is our story. "On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand!"
3 comments:
As a mom that had to leave both her babies in the NICU, I understand what you are going through. 3 years after we went through it all with our son spending 3 weeks there, our daughter was born 6 weeks early and spent almost 2 weeks there. You are right, it is so incredibly hard, but it does help to know that our Heavely Father is watching them when you are not there to watch their every move and every breath they take.
Rest, let your body heal, and when she does come home, you will be able to do the middle of the night feedings and actually appreciate that you are awake with her instead of a nurse.
You all continue to be in our prayers!
Tessa & the rest of the Vasilas crew!
One day when you have an extra minute or trying to waste time till you go see Ava, check out our blog
vasilas.blogspot.com
Abbey, it's Linda Sue. Your precious daughter is beautiful! I pray you have the peace that passes all understanding during these tough days of separation. It's good you keep the time in perspective, but still, it's hard to leave her. She is so cute!! Many blessings to you and Adam during this special time with your new baby daughter!
That is so awesome Abbey! I am praying for you and Ava!
Amber
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