Putting on my Big Girl Britches!

Ava sleeping, holding mommy's hand

As a mom have you ever had to put on your "big girl britches"?? Well, yesterday was one of those days for me. Ava again was having some stomach problems and the doctor ordered another x-ray that was more invasive and would give them a better idea of what was going on with her. The doctor told me that the reason that she was having some stomach problems was possibly because of a defect in her large intestine and if the x-ray showed that, then Ava would have to have surgery. So after I took a deep breathe and let just about four or five tears out, I told the doctor to go ahead. The nurses had to restart an IV for Ava before taking down for the test and asked if I wanted to leave the room. Are you kidding me!! I stayed in the room and held her little hand as they restarted the IV. Ava let out a little cry that just about ripped out my heart. The nurse said she was ready to take Ava down to x-ray and wondered if I wanted to go. Again, I thought are you kidding, of course I will go with her. Ava had her x-ray, and everything turned out fine...she just needed to poop. A side bar to this, is that a few weeks ago Ava got and upset stomach because she was given a "supplement". Then just on Monday she was given the "supplement" again. I know I am not a doctor but I did do cause and effect in elementary school english! So the doctors have now decided not to give Ava anymore supplement. Surprise today, since they stopped the supplement for 48 hours, Ava is eating and pooping just fine...hmmmm interesting.

As I was going through this challenge yesterday, I just stopped and put my hands on my daughter and just prayed and asked God to heal her. Also, as I was waiting for the nurse to come in and roll Ava to the xray, I just openned my Bible to psalms and started reading about how God is my ROCK, REDEEMER, SHEILD, PROTECTOR! God was all of those things to me yesterday. I have had people ask me "how are you getting through this". All I can say is through God's amazing grace. God has showned me throughout my almost 32 years of life that He is faithful and good through both the wonderful times and the really hard times. God doesn't change, it is our job for our focus and faith in HIM not to change. Do I have bad days, when I am mad at God and frustrated, yes. But, I know that "all things work together for good for those who love the Lord." Ava's middle name Elizabeth means "consecrated to God". When I was pregnant with her I prayed that she would bring glory to God through her life. I believe she is doing that even as she lays in her crib at the NICU!

**Ava is up to 3 lbs and 15 ounces...we are almost to 4 pounds. No date has been given for when she can come home, but hopefully it will be soon**